I’ve Verified Something New...

I’ve verified something new in my Work. 

Through the Magus’s tool of self-remembering and observance, 

I saw my features *strip away* a layer of my mechanics, 

instead of reinforcing a layer of the onion (like usual). 

I removed my buffers to my fear and vanity. 

Instead of those weaknesses 

triggering typical unconscious response, 

instead, well, they crucified me. 

And I observed it all with full awareness.

~E

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At Times,...

"At times, 

our own light goes out 

and is rekindled by a spark from another person.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude 

of those who have lighted the flame within us."

~Albert Schweitzer

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I Am Not Bound To Win...

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. 

I am not bound to succeed, 

but I am bound to live up to the light I have".

~Abraham Lincoln

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So Many Inter Locking...

So many inter locking and interweaving processes happening. 

And then the beauty of the moment shines through

and we can See! 

Consciousness is not functions. 

And Love is constantly redeeming all these efforts, 

so beautiful. 

I have verified

that Love does become knitted into us

and it is ALL worth it.

~C

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We Need Suffering...

Vincent Van Gogh

We need suffering. 

We all have to be purified. 

And suffering is the great purifier. 

Can we wish that it should not come, 

either to ourselves or to those for whom we wish growth 

and purification more than anything?

And then the Buddhist phrase: 

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

And then from Mervyn, 

"Don't waste your suffering."

~E

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When Shocks Appear...

When shocks appear 

and external changes batter the shores of being, 

the rock of this work 

holds deeply and opens the soul 

to this beautiful sense of what is the real world. 

~C

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Understanding Cannot Remain Static...

Miki De Goodaboom

Understanding cannot remain static-

it can only increase or diminish; 

and the safest way to increase one's understanding 

is to help others to understand.

~Rodney Collin 

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One Of The Themes...

Diego Rivera

One of the themes that Mervyn shared with us

is that pain isn't necessary for spiritual growth. 

If we can be present to a flower, 

a sunset, art, 

and let these beautiful impressions penetrate us deeply

then this feeds our soul. 

Of course, pain also comes into all our lives

and if we can also embrace this with open arms

it will also enhance our inner worlds. 

~J

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I Remember...

Vincent Van Gogh

 I remember a long time ago

going to visit a student

who was experiencing real suffering with Mervyn. 

It was quite a long journey for him 

and he explained 

that he was going to help this student 'stay on the cross' 

by taking his presence to the situation. 

It was such a beautiful and quiet act 

of external considering and work of a teacher with a student.

Sometimes our work 

is to help another student 

stay present 

to their real suffering 

and this can sometimes 

throw up a lot of inner considering I's on our part.

~M

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After Leaving...

After leaving L.A. in 2011, 

my play brought me back to NYC 

under the roof of my mom for about 1.5 years, 

then another 9 months 

after my first stint in PV fall 2012 to spring 2013. 

For the machine it was torture. 

Yet behind it was an acceptance, 

a steadfastness rooted in valuation for the work. 

A knowledge that the situation was payment. 

The accumulated energy of right understanding 

feels a lot like the building of gravity. 

The more we handle ourselves as students rightly, 

the more energy is accumulated, 

and the more and increasingly difficult situations are attracted.

~O

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I Am Remembering...

I am Remembering Ouspensky 

in one of his last lectures 

asking the audience what do you want?

Our desires lead our play 

and can possibly open us up to new understandings.

I hear Jean and John Grepe saying,

 “What do you want?” 

Or “what is your aim?”

We are body soul and spirit. 

To live in all three worlds is not to deny any.

~S

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But I Say To You...

But I say to you, 

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 

so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; 

for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, 

and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

~Jesus Christ

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In The End...

In the end, the I’s, the negative emotions, 

they are all gifts chasing one to the edge of existence. 

That edge is the point of no return

and is where the worlds all meet, 

and the obstinate nature may transform

and make a journey with the soul into understandings. 

Each one of our hearts is transcribing this journey 

and untying the knots of chaos 

into an intricate and beautiful Celtic Knot

where it feels and it combines all of us, 

even the most mundane and trivial parts that I can really hate.

Yes, even they are miracles.

~C

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