The flowerbeds were so beautiful -
ordered and structured.
They introduced me to the beauty of fragrance
and to a world of beauty and order.
I felt that I was feeding something inside
when I looked at flowers.
I wish that then I knew what I know now -
that a man’s Soul,
once reawakened,
needs food of the highest order,
and that food is impressions.
I squandered countless hours
gazing at those beautiful flowers
without understanding how to digest them.
Now I know that I was drawn to beauty
because my Soul could see beauty,
but hadn’t grown up enough to know how to feed on it.
My Soul didn’t know how to exit my body and was relegated,
like a doomed prisoner,
to observe life through the bars of his cell,
watching impotently at the passing world.
I must have got that right because now,
forty years later,
I can see each of those moments
as if they just occurred.
I realize that my clearest memories
were filled with joy and sadness,
when my Soul must have been watching.
That meant that all the other memories
occurred when my Soul was asleep or away."
~ Mervyn
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