I Understood...

I understood that this struggle and then acceptance

and then release leaves behind a very real “hole” in the heart, 

it's literally in the energetic body. 

This is the space where I am not my machine; 

the only place that is clean enough for God to enter

because it is not me. 

This is the space where I can put my judgment, my pettiness, 

my shame, my anger; this is the only place that can hold all of this.

Sometimes when I am intentional enough

and using this understanding ... 

I feel that I have this enormous emptiness, like the icon. 

Really it's probably a little pinprick, 

but so real, because I can breathe REAL air.

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